Sunday, February 17, 2013

Perhaps I Didn't Lose Anything After All

I lost a diamond today. 

Well, I’m not sure if I lost it today or yesterday. 

I was getting ready for an afternoon run in warm and sunny conditions, and as I was grabbing my iPod, iPhone and car keys I looked down at my hand and noticed it was missing.

Oh, this is lovely, I thought. 

The “old me” would have been so frustrated by this loss, that I would’ve never made it down the stairs and into my car to drive to the park to go on the run I intended to take. It mattered to me, but it didn’t matter enough for me to stop everything I was doing. It’s just a diamond. 

I arrived at the park, and I thought for just a second I could search my car to see if this tiny between 1/8th and 1/4th of a carat diamond was somehow in the car. Within a few seconds, I found an old pair of sunglasses that had mysteriously disappeared months earlier. Relieved, I put them on and hit the pavement. 

It was just a diamond, I thought again. I vented about it though, and got helpful feedback on how to replace it. I didn’t, however, let that loss dictate the rest of my day. 

What’s in a diamond anyway? It represents so many things and different things to people. The “loss” of the diamond seemed quite appropriate for the journey that it took to exist to begin with. Diamonds aren’t pretty at first glance, and they become beautiful often under pretty volatile circumstances. To me, it seems like a fitting parallel for the person wearing this now-missing diamond. 

I bought the ring in which that diamond was set while on vacation in Hawaii just more than two years ago. It was a symbolic and thoughtful purchase I made after a series of difficult days and weeks. At the time I called it my “Freedom Ring.” I knew, if I wore that ring and looked down at my hand and saw the slight glimmer from that diamond, I was doing all the right things and I was going to be fine. 

Perhaps it is fitting that just a little over two months after I had this I am happy realization, this reminder that “I am okay” disappears. 

Just maybe someone who needs a little nudge and encouragement may find their own “freedom ring” and they, too, will no longer need it when they’re happy on their own. 

Then, they, like me, can choose to replace that missing sparkling reminder and carry with them the bookend of the journey: from one “volatile” and disruptive passage to the slow-goings of moving on and grace in the process to accepting circumstances and situations and loving it all and being happy anyway.

Perhaps I didn’t lose anything after all. 

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